“Ya gotta pick yer ditch to die in, kiddo.”

- My grandfather

Snarky comments from an ex- on Facebook, a blogger who makes blind accusations about your content, an argumentative Tweep who wants to pick a fight…Conflict across the social mediasphere crops-up in varied forms. Always abundant yet not always needed or relevant, just how do you deal with the B.S. when it comes knocking on your door?

Like my grandfather said, you’ve gotta pick your ditch to die in.

Earlier this week, Sharlyn Larby had a spot-on post on Mashable (HOW TO: Deal With Social Media Conflict). She offers excellent pointers for those dealing with the every day business of working in social media. On occasion however, there comes a point where you must decide what goes offline and stays visible for the web-going public. That’s when it’s time to decide whether you pick the shovel up and start digging or you walk over to the tool shed and put it away for a day that presents a more noble cause. Granted, you can always choose to hit someone over the head with the shovel, but that’s an advance tactic I won’t be introducing in today’s blog.

As the recent target of some social media mudslinging, I’ve had to give some serious thought to the topic. In forum like Facebook or MySpace, you can delete offensive remarks on your page/profile/wall and call that the end of it. But what do you do when it’s a blog or a tweet – something more public-facing and readily accessible by the media-consuming masses? Here are some thoughts, as well as practices I’ve engaged in as I’ve been forced to respond to a less-than-optimal situation. And for the record, my personal situation itself is irrelevant. It’s done. I’m protecting no one or making anything up. I’m using the experience to explore the issue further and find out your ideas on the subject of social media conflict.

1. Ask for a second (third, fourth, fifth) opinion. When faced with conflict, I opt for another set of eyes. It gives me a reality check as well as the opportunity to potentially hear from someone who knows the source better than I do. This practice has encouraged me to put the shovel back in the shed on multiple occasions. It’s also confirmed suspicions and led me to scope-out the landscape, shovel in hand.
2. Ready to dig? Start with a comment that encourages dialogue. If the offense is coming from a blog, leave a comment. Present your case. Offer a link. The next volley (if there is one) will come from the offender’s side. It will also clue readers in on the conflict and the way it’s being handled (remember this).
3. On Twitter? DMs are Priceless. This is advice that goes not only for realm of conflict, but for the entire Twitterverse as well. There are times to take conversations offline and out of the public eye. Granted, you can’t DM someone if you’re not following one another, but you can ask to take things offline if DMs aren’t an option. Sometimes you don’t have to shout your message out to the world for things to be heard at the appropriate volume.
4. Surrender the Shovel. Whether you’ve sufficiently buried or been buried by the offender as a result of making your stand, you’ve gotta eventually put the shovel down. It can be as simple as ceasing to respond or realizing that the conversation isn’t going to evolve. Shovels should only stay in-hand when you feel a conversation has the chance of evolution. When that prospect ceases, it’s time to head to the shed.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. The more discussion there is on this topic, the better chance we all have of building a toolbox of social media etiquette that’s equipped for dealing with a broad range of situations. Social media is still a very new bird in the tree of communication- the best we can do is not pick-off all of the birds from the get-go with a BB gun out of angst!

I’ve always felt that good retweeting is akin to being a good journalist: Always cite your sources and don’t be a thief.

Soooooo, for those NOT in the know, a “retweet” is the act of forwarding along someone else’s post on Twitter. As one of the primary means for sharing and disseminating information when you’re limited to 140 characters or less, the retweet is a vital tool on the Twitter platform. Yet is amazes me how many people don’t know how to do it, do it incorrectly or just overdo it altogether.

Often seen as a compliment, being “retweeted” can mean anything from others think your content is compelling, important, timely, funny – the list is truly endless. Here’s something to think about as you begin posting other people’s content in the Twitterverse:

RULE OF RULES: Pretend you’re giving a reporter an interview. Being “misquoted” or even worse, not being quoted at all, will make you frustrated, think ill of the reporter, the reporter’s publication and possibly the entire reporter’s family and the gym he/she belongs to. The family dog isn’t even safe when it comes to misquotes and failure to credit.

Thus, to make the retweeting process one that is clear, concise and friendly to Tweeps everywhere (and their family dogs), here’s a step-by-step process on how to PROPERLY retweet someone on Twitter:

1. OMG! OMG! @RedheadWriting ‘s last tweet was SOOO FUNNY! I want to share that with all my followers, LOL.
2. Copy the entire text of @RedheadWriting’s tweet and place “RT @RedheadWriting” in front of the tweet.
3. If the text now goes over 140 characters, it is acceptable to abbreviate/omit words, but PLEASE do not change the intent or EDIT the post to suit your fancy.

But hey, Erika— what if @RedheadWriting’s post was retweeting someone ELSE’S tweet? Those often look like this:

RedheadWriting: RT@theclimbergirl I loved this blog: http://www.rockclimbergirl.com

How the heck do you retweet a retweet? Simple – you credit the original tweeter and it looks like this:

RandomTwitterUser: RT@theclimbergirl I loved this blog: http://www.rockclimbergirl.com

It could also look like this if you’ve got room:

RandomTwitterUser: RT @RedheadWriting @theclimbergirl I loved this blog: http://www.rockclimbergirl.com

But it should NEVER look like this:

RandomTwitterUser: RT @RedheadWriting RT@pbeiser RT@chrisbrogan @theclimbergirl I loved this blog: http://www.rockclimbergirl.com

Just determine who posted the tweet first and remember to credit them. Share credit when you’ve got the room, but there’s no need to overdo it by citing every bloody Tweep who happened to be in the food chain. After all, you never hear a reporter say: “It was heard from Mrs. Jones that Mr. Marks heard that John Doe heard that Mary said she like tofu.”

That’s just silly, now, isn’t it?

Nothing…and I mean nothing frustrates me more than getting someone’s voicemail. On a daily basis, I hang up on voicemail and send that person an email, text or Tweet.

I want to be able to deliver my message to its intended audience on my timeline, their availability be damned.

As part of a culture that used to be happy with a seven-second delay for our evening news and sportscasts, I’m here to tell you those days are gone. Well, they are for me, at least.

These days, I’m frustrated when I’m not awarded the instant gratification that social media’s brought to my life – and I have a feeling I’m not the only one.

Y’see, Twitter is my social network of choice. It’s open so long as I’m on a computer during the day and goes with me on my travels via Twitterberry. I tweeted half way up Mt. Kilimanjaro last fall and shared Twitpics with my followers throughout my journey. I post pics of my activities or links I find interesting to Twitter, which are in turn cross-posted to my Facebook account via FriendFeed.

Got a question? I can DM (direct message) over 1000 followers and then bask in the gratification of a slew of qualified responses.

Wonder when I’m going to meet friends for a climbing outing for the weekend? I send a text or IM (instant message) and await the few minutes it takes to get everyone’s response.

Voicmail confuses me. I really don’t know what to do anymore when asked to leave a message at the tone.

Platforms like Twitter are changing the landscape of communication and redefining what it means to receive information “real time.” As someone who remembers fax machines and acoustic dial-up internet access, it dawns on me that there is a generation in our midst that has never sent a fax or “dialed-up” to the internet. I’d venture to guess most have never seen a rotary phone. The level of “acceptable delay” between sending a message and receiving a response has drastically changed. But what does this change mean for the Skypers, Tweeps, Facebookers, FriendFeeders and text messagers of the world?

Are we becoming a new generation of petulant children, irritated and prone to tantrum when our demand for immediate gratification through communication isn’t met? One only has to look at the activity during the Presidential inauguration on Twitter to see evidence of the huddled masses yearning to interact. Though there were the few Inconsiderates who consistently tweeted invitations to their webinars or links to new posts or special offers, I can with all glee state that they were told by the Twiterverse to “shut it” real-time.

And then there’s the instance of the downed US Airways flight on the Hudson in January. A bystander snapped the shot that crashed Twitpic (an online photo sharing application linked to Twitter) and scooped the old media with the closest thing to real time this tragedy saw.

Could I be so cliché as to offer that we’re experiencing a paradigm shift in “acceptable delay?” Those who follow me on Twitter know that I’m an active proponent of the power of the network. I ask questions, initiate conversations, join in even more and revel in the electronic expression of my personality, insight and communal expertise.

But I think I’ve become an impatient little child on account of it all.

Whereas real time used to include an “acceptable period of delay” between when I left a voicemail or sent an email (or in the case of my parents, mailed a letter) and received the requisite response, my “acceptable delay” has diminished exponentially. I’ve become accustomed to the instant gratification of direct messages and texts and increasingly irritated by having to wait. Seriously – you do not even want to see me in the “express” lane at the grocery store.

Is social media’s contribution to this paradigm shift in communication breeding a generation of impatience? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Surely I can’t be the only social media brat to be crawling around in cyberspace. Like the caftan-clad woman who menacingly counts the items in others’ baskets while in the “10 items or less” lane, I’m left wondering sometimes, when relegated to slower forms of communication, just what the hell’s the holdup.

Maybe I’m just a brat. But maybe…it’s not all my fault I turned out this way.

Guest Blogger:Erika Napoletano is a climber with a writing problem based in Denver, Colorado. When she’s not pounding-out a freelance assignment, she can be found climbing both natural and plastic rock, the ice of Colorado, or one of may glaciated mountain peaks. She likens jalapeño poppers to deep-fried pieces of Mecca and is highly disappointed that she has yet to find a bar to serve her a mojito in a Nalgene glass. She has more climbing gear to her name than ex-husbands (to-date), and is always on the lookout for the offbeat, inspiring, and quirky things in life that bring an unexpected smile to her red head. Follow the self-professed brat on Twitter @RedheadWriting and check out her SEO copy writing and social media blog at Red Head Writing.